I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
