i just had sex bonerless
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize