you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
