he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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