how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
