I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
