If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
3 2 1 whiskey
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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