you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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