maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I still have a little drunk in my system
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
