Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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