You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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