wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize