I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
