whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
