We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize