laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
