dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
