They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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