Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize