So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
