we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
