Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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