Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
