we're blogging at a bar
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
