my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He passed out mid-signature
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
