absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
