wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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