My balls are so social today.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
