woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He felt like a one man threesome
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
