Need sex. Gaining weight.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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