im having a threesome with these popsicles
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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