Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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