hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
