So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
