Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
