I CAN MOONWALK!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Green mimosas i think yes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
