My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
