OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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