Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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