I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My vagina is officially offended.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
