My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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