Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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