Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize