as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
