i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can't turn off my feet"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
