No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
