I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
