The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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