If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
