Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize