and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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