he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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