You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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