She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
