We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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