they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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