I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
