I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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