all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
