so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
